First things first - How is it that I'm in Paris?

It all started about a dozen days ago, give or take. There I was planning my fifth night of pool playing in a row when I got an intriguing e-mail entitled: GTA Paris needed. I was concerned. I thought I already was a GTA (Graduate Teaching Assistant) for the UNC Paris study abroad, set to leave in January of 2008. Then, for a brief moment: relief! What they needed was a replacement this summer. The current GTA could no longer complete the program and so they were "looking for a qualified GTA who is able to fly to Paris within the next few days and serve for the remainder of the program until the end of June." I had just woken up and at this point wasn't sure if the anemia experienced in the few days prior to this message was making me a little loopy! Was I really being offered a trip to Paris? I called to verify and before I knew what I was doing I was submitting my candidacy. As I hung up the phone I started to realize what I had done. It was a Wednesday and I had offered to drop my current summer plans in order be on a plane for Paris by that Saturday. Not that things were too exciting in good ol' Chapel Hill but I was really starting to enjoy my lazy summer. But hey, who says "no" to an all expenses paid trip to Paris in June? There was another candidate but somehow I knew, it would be me. Not because I felt any kind of claim to it but rather because suddenly I felt a great deal of fear about it. The universe always has a way of making me face my fears. That's right, leaving on such short notice with almost no time to prepare terrified me. Me! The supposed traveler. I live for this kind of stuff right? The knots in my stomach however made me think otherwise. I was informed that the decision would be made within the next 24 hours. A whole day in limbo. Great. I was panicked as I felt I should be preparing just in case, yet didn't want to get ready to go only to find out there was no place to go to. Stressed and feeling overwhelmed, I did what any sane person would do, I went to play some pool!

That evening I had my first panic attack. Trembling uncontrollably at the myriad of thoughts and emotions. I was sure that I would forget something. Also was my summer that empty that I could just up and leave? This made me even more certain that it would be me and the call I received the following morning on Thursday finally confirmed it. I booked my flights within the next few hours, allowing 10 days of travel at the end of the program. Fastest booking in my life. I, who dreads decision making, was forced into a speedy one. All I had left to do was pack and get myself to the airport in 2 days.

Procrastination being my preferred method of packing I arrived rather late to the airport. This turned out to be a good thing as I had to run to the gate, which helped to rid me of my final nerves. Alright, so here is my confession: the truth of the matter is most of my nerves stemmed from a newly developed fear of flying. Well, more like a fear of panic attacks in flight. It happened to me once and ever since I've been extremely concerned. Those who know me well will understand how horrible it is for me to be a nervous flyer. Given how international my family and friends base is and how much I like to travel, not being able to fly would be a nightmare. Being that avoiding flight in my life is just not an option the thought has had me feeling pretty lousy for quite a while. Fear or no fear there I was boarding the flight. I got into the small commuter plane going to Philly from Raleigh for my connecting flight and something amazing happened. I remembered how much I love to fly. I love being up there in the air, watching the clouds (which I've realized recently that I am obsessed with) and letting people bring me drinks and food as I sit back and relax. In this fast paced existence those moments of truly nothing to do and no responsibilities are few and far between. Also I noticed there are plenty of other nervous flyers who are all too eager to chat with perfect strangers to make the time go by. Before I knew it we were landing and I had arrived in Gay Paris! One quick ride on the RER and I was at the Luxembourg where I would be staying. Next stop: Foyer International des Etudiantes!